Agility is not my middle name

So I was on my facebook, ranting about my landlord, when someone suggested I throw a stink bomb in her car. Not only was this highly amusing, but I had to stop and wonder about the possibilities.

I imagined myself sneaking up to her car with a mischievous look in my eye. I would throw the stink bomb forcefully into the car making sure it broke, to get the full-smelly-effect. So I'd sinisterly laugh like those villains in a bad action movie and turn to flee the scene..... *AND* this is where my clumsiness in all it's full glory would come out. Anyway, I would turn to flee and somehow my feet would get entangled with each other, as I am usually prone to doing. I would let out some high pitched squeal similar to a mouse about to be stepped on, and -as if this were happening in slow motion- I would feel myself slowly falling to the ground, seeing every inch of the concrete coming closer to my face. Suddenly, my arms would react and reach out in time to get the most impact from hitting the ground. There I would be, sprawled on the ground, not knowing what happened. Of course my landlord would undoubtedly walk up around this time thus catching me at my super failed attempt at extracting revenge.

Because you see, I am by no means a ninja. I'm not even a level one ninja-in-training. I'm actually the person that sweeps up the remnants of the smoke bombs left by the master ninja's that have oh-so-deftly gotten away.... and that, folks, is my place in this world.

..:: Fin ::..